Have you ever been placed in a situation where you feel obligated to say yes even though you know in your heart you should say no? When you've actually already said no to the very same work related question/proposal/offer and then somehow been persuaded to say, well, maybe? "Give me a week to think about it," you say, and then end up so sick with a viral stomach bug that you miss two days of work and even though it has only been five days since the initial conversation, you magically have a new job. The absence of a verbal decision qualifies as your consent to accept the proposal offered to you and also implies your consent to speak with your current employer regarding upcoming changes that you haven't even decided to accept. Then your current employer approaches you and says that he just wants you to be "happy" and that "you should make the best decision for your happiness" two count them two minutes after being told that he was told of your "decision" without your knowledge. Imagine all of this happening 5 minutes prior to the end of your work day, on a Friday. Needless to say my night was quite stressful as I currently enjoy my position (minus the working five days weekly) and respect my current employer immensely whom I've had a close professional relationship since the year 2000. I have come to the realization of the following things that can help me to avoid what I consider a disaster, and keep any more weekends of the life I only live once from being ruined.
- Be clear with decisions, even if the decision you are making is to mull over the proposal.
- Don't be pressured, or really the word is flattered, to make a career move that won't be good for you long term. Do what is best for you...you are the most important person in your world.
- Trust your gut.
- When in doubt, say NO firmly, clearly.
- Laugh when someone attempts to change your mind and then thank them profusely for the opportunity. The role offered might be right for you at a different time. Remember the old adage "don't burn bridges".